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Animated Strip Poker

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Released: 1983

Genre: Puzzle

Format reviewed: ZX Spectrum

Publisher: Knightsoft

Developer: Knightsoft

Submitted by: Ian Marks

Phwoar! If there’s one thing that really got me going in the 1980’s it was pixelated women, and what made it even sexier was that the girl was drawn in 256×192 pixels… I’ll say it again Phwoar!

Of course not… I didn’t get turned on by the women in Animated Strip Poker, but Knightsoft clearly hoped that someone would be.

Let me start by saying that I definitely did not buy this game – no honestly I didn’t – but I remember a copy of it being passed around at secondary school on the black market. How times have changed. Nowadays schoolboy urchins are probably passing around AVI’s of HD quality porn, but in the early eighties we had to make do with cartoon women… and not very good ones at that. Golden age my eye.

If a badly drawn woman called Mindy didn’t do it for you, then perhaps you could be encouraged to get more excited by a lecherous playing card with lightbulb for a head. As poor Mindy took off her dress, the lightbulb playing card hybrid would get all overheated and his head would flash. If the lady ever got to take of her under clothing then his light source bonce would pop.

The game played (I think) a fairly standard game of poker, with you having to beat your ‘glamourous’ opponent before she would disrobe. I seem to remember it was quite hard (no sniggering at the back) to do, and it was quite rare to see her in all her birthday suit lo-res glory.

I feel a bit sorry for Mindy… she probably came into the software industry wanting to be a computer game star. She went to auditions and she maybe got a few roles as an extra in the background of games such as Gunfright and Everyone’s a Wally, but then the work dried up, and her big break never came. She met the wrong sort of software developers (Knightsoft) and they ended up exploiting her, promising her the world. Poor Mindy, her pixelated mother was probably ashamed.

Is it worth playing now… no. Was it worth playing then… no.

 Even as a teenage boy it wasn’t very sexy, and I took no pleasure from it… I shouldn’t think anyone did, unless they were really desperate. They’d have done better  watching Leela from Dr. Who or Charlton Heston’s girlfriend in Planet of the Apes… or was that just me?