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Chuck Norris SuperKicks

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Released: 1983

Genre: Beat-’em-up

Format reviewed: Atari 2600

Publisher: Xonox

Developer: Xonox

Submitted by: Bill Matthews

Oh I really, really want to like this game, I really, really do- any game starring the hardest man that ever there was and that there ever will be, surely has got to be good, right? The answer is no.

 To be fair, the game design is quite good- you flick between a map and the fighting playfield- and the sprite of Chuck is pretty cool too- you can almost make out the 2600-pixelated ginger beard of the man himself, almost.

What really lets this game down are the controls. They’re bad. They’re really really bad. You can play this game a hundred times and never really improve. When you first appear on the fighting playfield it’s just you (Chuck) and the bad guy. You charge at him, fingers poised on the joystick to roundhouse kick the mother in the face, you approach, you’re ready, and then, ‘pow’ you’re down onthe floor. You get up- just a lucky kick you think, you’re ready this time- you approach, again ready to do some roundhouse kick damage and then,‘pow’ you’re down on the floor again. You get up a second time but now, from no where the baddie has got a gun. He shoots you, you go down, he shoots you again, you die and wind up back on the path screen. And that’s how it goes- over and over until you finally, well, game over.

I remember being so excited getting this game only to be disheartened very quickly. No matter how quick I thought I was being the henchman was always quicker. Even when I forced myself to sit down for a proper session the best I ever did was get to the second level- where there were two henchmen, both quicker than me, meaning I died and went back to the path screen even quicker.

I’m sure there are folk out there, folk willing to put the time in who really enjoy this game, but for me it’s just not any fun.