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Pedro

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Released: 1983

Genre: Platformer

Format reviewed: ZX Spectrum

Publisher: Imagine

Developer: Imagine

Submitted by: Ian Marks

Picture the scene… you are a big software company in the eighties, all your staff have blown their money on women and helicopters, and your finances are shot. You’ve just been shafted by a magazine company that claim that the type in games you produced for them are crap, and they won’t pay you any money either…. What do you do?

Well if  you were Imagine then the answer is simple… type in the game yourself, and release it as a full priced game. After all computer gamers are thick, who’d ever notice.

Sadly for Imagine Software everybody noticed, and Pedro (the game in question) got dreadful reviews, was bought by nobody, and was one of the final nails in the Imagine coffin.

Nowadays we are much luckier because we can play this game in the comfort of our own home without spending any of our hard earned money. A quick trip to WOS, and a quick run of ZX Spin and you are back in the eighties. So how does Pedro play?

Pedro sadly plays very poorly. He moves around his garden in a semi isometric way. The isometric look is strange enough to be confusing and illogical, making it hard to work out which row of plants you will be walking through. Pedro (the stereo-typical) Mexican has to protect his garden from giant ants and tramps, apparently both of these things are a huge menace to Central American gardeners.

He does this task by flickering around his garden, randomly killing things and being killed himself. It truly is appalling, even by Imagine’s sometimes low standards – remember Schzoids, BC Bill, Molar Maul, Ah Diddums… well it’s infinitely worse than all of them.

What makes it even worse is that Imagine clearly couldn’t even be bothered to design a proper cover for the game. Google the game and you’ll see for yourself that it looks like it was drawn by a bored 13 year old doodling at the back of a maths lesson… and it probably was.

Myself I’m fascinated by bad games, there’s something about the sheer awfulness of some retro programs that really appeals, and believe me Pedro has more appeal than most.