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The Dukes of Hazzard

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Released: 1985

Publisher: Elite

Developer: Elite

Submitted by: Ian Marks

In the eighties everyone liked ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’… well apart from my parents, they thought it was crap. But what do parents know. They were in fact wrong because Hazzard was probably the best programme ever made. It had all the correct elements. A car that jumped rivers with a fancy horn – yes it had that. A sexy girl who wore tight clothing – again it had that. A comedy sheriff with a dog – it certainly did. Put those items together and you’ve got a winning TV show on your hands my friend.

Elite were in a TV show buying frenzy in the mid-eighties and they wanted a piece of this sexy girl, sexy car, stupid sheriff action. So they wrote themselves a game. It must have taken them about an hour. If I’d asked my mum and dad’s opinion of the game they’d have declared it crap as well… and in this case they’d have been right.

It started off okay. The title screen had the dubious confederate flag on it, just like the top of the car. So at least they’d watched the programme. But then you pressed start. Probably only once, because once played Dukes of Hazzard was highly likely to be returned to the shop quickly.

Your badly drawn General Lee left the barn and drove along a road. Bizarrely it was initially chased by the sprite from Elite’s own Airwolf game. Avoid this, or throw what looked like a brick at it and you were then pursued down the road by the sheriff’s car.

It was a side scrolling game, with the car being able to change lanes to avoid being caught. However it was almost impossible to avoid being caught because it took five seconds for the car to respond to your key press – well it seemed like five seconds.

Much like Elite’s ‘The Fall Guy’ it also missed out the best bits of the show. No ludicrous jumps that clearly destroyed the car one scene, but then it was fine again the next. No Daisy Duke in ridiculous shorts. No sheriff and his dog doing hilariously stupid things. Another opportunity missed.

Those Duke boys should have been a gold mine for game manufacturers, but Elite obviously tapped a sewer when they were digging. If you haven’t played it, don’t… it’s dreadful. Watch the DVD’s instead, you won’t regret it… even if just for a glimpse of those hot pants.