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The Flintstones

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Released: 1988

Genre: Platformer

Format reviewed: Amiga 500

Publisher: Grandslam Entertainments Ltd.

Developer: Teque Software Development Ltd.

Behold, the worst game ever made. Well at least the worst game *I’ve* ever played. Let me just put it this way : If I was dead, I would be turning in my grave just knowing that such a game was released on my beloved Amiga. But thankfully I am not dead, so instead I shall do my duty and warn the world, thus (probably) raising my karmic inheritance.

Alarm bells should have been ringing at the loading screen whereby you are greeted with what looks like an 8 year old’s portrayal of the Flintstones’ cast, matched perfectly with a rendition of the cartoon’s theme specifically designed to make you immediately want to throw your chair into your expensive new monitor or tv, because listening to it even for a minute is a serious challenge to any set of normal, human ears. But don’t think you’re going to get away with it so lightly. Oh no, God no. Now you have to play the damn game.

Your first task is, upon Wilma’s request, paint the wall. Yes, paint the wall – and PROPERLY. I literally was unable to pass the first section on a few occasions simply because I could not find the bits I’d missed out on painting. Mind-numbingly frustratingly boring fare whilst you get to listen to an even more aggravating theme rendition than in the loading screen. But hey, you get rewarded with a bowling game afterwards.. surely a worthwhile payoff you’d imagine? No.. oh heavens no. You might as well play a game of snap, or roll the dice because the bowling section is quite simply the worst computerised bowling game ever – there is literally no skill involved, and once again you get to listen to the same horrendous tune from the previous section, at this point you just about want to change religion or political party.

The final section is quite simply the most pointless, ugly, unimaginative platform level just about ever made where you get to rescue Pebbles before going off to the drive-in and completing the game, but I mean, fair dinkum – take my word for it – just leave her there, switch off the computer and go and get some sunshine because you’ve wasted enough time already on this absolute abomination to cartoons, computers, and indeed humankind.