Format reviewed: Game Gear
Publisher: US Gold
Submitted by: Matt Gander
Based on the often forgotten 90s cartoon starring a squad of footballing heroes, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be treated to a platformer or a novelty football game when slotting this into my trusty GameGear.
If you haven’t guessed by the screenshot, it’s yet another 2D platformer. And one that isn’t nowhere near as clever or as enjoyable as Soccer Kid or Marco’s Magic Football.
The controls are responsive and the sprites are large but that’s all it has going for it. The idea is to collect trophies (the number of which varies from level to level) and then reach the exit, with the environments being seemingly chosen at random.
There’s no cut-scenes or details of a plot – after the title screen you start off in a lagoon with jagged rocks and such, where enemies include canons that look like they’ve rolled off a pirate ship. These can be defeated by simply kicking a football at them. The football reappears next to the footballers feet instantly, so there’s no need to worry about it going into the lagoon next door.
The second level is an airport where vending machines spit out cans of soda that drain your health. When on death’s door you have to go looking for burgers to top up your health, because as we all know, footballers eat loads and loads of burgers. That’s why they’re so slim and can move around the pitch with great agility.
The third level is wild west themed featuring invisible cowboys and low flying birds. I had to switch it off by this point as it was affecting my sanity.
I’m sure there were worse games on the GameGear. But probably not many.